When the MarySues Cry
by BleedingMaggots
Summary: What happens when a long-lost Sonozaki triplet, nicknamed "Mary-Sue", moves to Hinamizawa? Will this trigger the Hinamizawa Syndrome in a certain sane person? Rated T for violence and language, possibly rated M later. Characters may act OOC
1. Mary Sue comes to town!

When the Mary-Sues Cry

It was a warm summer in the village of Hinamizawa.

A small bus can be seen traveling following the trail that leads to the rural village.

The public vehicle slowed to a stop as it reached its destination.

With a pull of a lever, the doors of the bus opening.

And out with it, with locks of spring green hair, a young woman about the age of 16 or 17.

"Man, its hot here," she said. "Blazing compared to Tokyo."

She took a whiff of the new air, inhaling the external beauty.

"Hinamizawa, Yukion Sonozaki has arrived!"


	2. A Splitting Headache for the Class

When the Mary-Sues Cry

"Alright class, we have a new student today," Chie says.

Everyone in the class murmured and whispered to each other.

The club members looked at each other uneasily.

"Who do you think it's going to be?" Satoko whispered.

"Whatever goes. Could be another crazy batshit chick," Keiichi sighed.

"Hauu… I wonder if she's cute. Kana, kana?" Rena gleamed.

"She must be pretty nice, desu" Rika smiled.

"Don't get your hopes up," Satoko scoffed. "We don't need another person prone to mood swings."

"Now that I think about it, my mom told me someone special's coming. That means-" Mion stopped abruptly.

"Mi-chan, are you alright?" Rena asked.

Everyone turned to face her to see what she has to say.

But the only thing that came out was her small whimper:

"Ooh fuck…"

The class was silent for a while.

They didn't know what's going to happen next…

A second past…

Then a minute was gone…

And then…

…

…

"HI!" shouts a girl with a slam of the class door.

Immediately the class spun their heads to the sound.

"0m9, L1k3 H111! MY N4m3 12 yuk10N 50N024k1 4Nd 1'm H3R3 t0 r3CL41M T3H p051T10n 42 h34d 0F t3H 50N024k1 Ph4m1lY!" she shouted as she entered.

The class: WTF?

Yukion strode over to Mion and gave her a big slap on the back.

"WH422 up 819 515, 1 h4v3'n7 533N J00 PH0R 4 l0n9 71m3! d4mn J00 h4V3 9R0wN! 8u7 j00R 80085 R 571Ll 5m4LL3r 7h4N m1N3..." she grinned.

Mion still had the horrified look on her face.

"WHAT THE HELL DUDE, I CAN'T TELL WHAT YOU'RE SAYING AT ALL, YOU DUMB SHIT! STOP TALKING IN LEET!"

"I'm soooo sorry, but I happen to inherit that language from our parents."

"I don't remember having some - shit ditz - as a sister!" Mion growled.

"Oh that's because I was abandoned for being a triplet and was adopted by a bunch of meanies. Oh how much was I abused!" Yukion said with despair as if she's in a Shakespeare play.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCKIN' DAMN IF YOU'RE ABUSED OR NOT!" Mion screamed.

"Geez Mion, take a chill pill…" Keiichi grinned.

"YOU SHUT UP TOO!"

Satoko: ….

Rika: *face palm*

Hanyuu: I wonder how this arc will turn out…

* * *

Author's Note:

Oh god, kill me please!

Oh yeah, if you hadn't notice, this is supposed to be a parody of Higurashi if Mary-Sues invaded their beautiful world. I feel terrible for creating this –ugh- Mary-Sue Yukion Sonozaki.

Mion, I apologize for torturing you in this chapter, so please don't nail every one of my fingers.

Mion: *pissed...*


	3. The Club is Interruped

When the Mary-Sues Cry

The Watanagashi festival draws near as every villager grew nervous.

They all wonder who will die this year.

But the club doesn't care, because it's another time that they'll start their crazy antics again.

"All right… to forget what's happen today, we should start playing a fun game," Rika started.

"Oh, how about that murder mystery game?" Keiichi started excitedly.

"Nah… we play that too many times. What about Old Maid?" Rena suggested.

"Not just Old Maid- Old Geezer!"

No reply.

They all looked at Mion, who is busy carving a desk with a pencil.

"Damn them nasty piece of shitbags who passes off as my sis."

"Mion, you should try to get along with Yukion…" Rika assured.

"Oh sure! Then I should go have a tea party with her!" the green-haired tomboy snapped.

"That's not what I mean…"

"And then we could have a sleepover while she looks through my pantry and smell my shampoo," Mion dug deeper with every word.

"Mi-chan…"

"THEN WE COULD GO TO THE DUMP AND FROLIC DOWN A RAINBOW WITH A UNICORN!"

"MION!"

"yes?"

"Behind you," Keiichi pointed.

Mion slowly turned her head to the direction the finger is pointing to.

"…"

"Ooh fuck"

"What was that you were talking about?" Yukion smiled.

"N-nothing Yu-chan, Mi-chan was just explaining the rules of the games," Rena stuttered.

"Really? I would like to play then!"

"NO!" Mion shouted.

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

"Mion, you should REALLY take anger management classes…" Keiichi said.

"Wow Kei-chan, you're so cute when you do that~" Yukion blushed.

"ONLY I GET TO CALL HIM THAT!" yelled Mion.

She jumped up from her chair and lunged for the triplet, snarling and desperately trying to strangle her if not for Rena and Rika holding her back.

"You have to be in the club to play games with us," Satoko scoffed.

"Don't worry about that, I'm already in."

"What? Since when?" Keiichi demanded.

"Since I'm going to be the new class leader, I make the rules now!"

"Who said you could be the leader, I'm the oldest!" Mion demanded.

"Well, being leader doesn't mean being the oldest, it means being the best!"

"But we like Mion as our leader…" Rika said in her usual soft voice.

"Even Nii-nii said she's a good leader," Satoko whispered.

"Satoshi?" questioned Keiichi.

"USODA!" Yukion shouts.

Everyone jumped at that word.

"I'm not lying," Satoko defensively said.

"USODA! I've known Satoshi before you were born! He said that I was perfect in any way! I was treated like his little sister! A better one than YOU! YOU'RE THE REASON HE RAN AWAY!" Yukion screamed while pointing at Satoko.

Satoko: O_O

Yukion was about to snapped and smack the blonde until she felt a painful blow to the face.

…

Shion glared at her so-called "triplet" with her palm outwards, prepared to strike again.

"Shion?" everyone was surprised.

"Onee-san told me that our other 'sister' has come to town. I was going to give her a warm welcome… until I overheard your little 'back-story'," she said calmly.

Yukion stared at Shion with eyes glimmering with tears.

"I thought you were in Okinomiya…" she whimpered. "You must be tiptop on things…"

Shion smirked.

"I appreciate that compliment, but…" her smirk disappeared. "…if you DARE hurt Satoko-chan in any way again, I'll hammer nails in each of your fingers. And I'LL MAKE SURE you're wide awake so you could feel every iron stake puncture your bones."

Shion walked away from the building with her green hair trailing after her.

Everyone: …

"So Kei-chan, want to go out sometimes?" Yukion smiled.

Mion: *facepalm* Dammit, she's more annoying than Shion!

* * *

Author's Note:

Hurrah for Shion appearance!

God, it's so hard keeping up with this "Yukion" business. It is hard finding material for a Higurashi Mary Sue, because most Mary Sues are perfect and clichéd while Higurashi is a unique anime.

But today I just read a horrible fanfiction with a DEFINITE Higu-Sue. I won't list the author's name, because that's cruel. Thanks to that, I could find more qualities to put into the Higu-Sue of this story.

SO THERE'S STILL HOPE!

P.S. Note the Communitychannel reference from Youtube


	4. The Night of the Watanagashi Festival

When the Mary-Sues Cry

Tonight's the Watanagashi Festival, and everybody's happy.

A fine day indeed to get a relief of stress.

But the original villagers still worry.

For it is also the 5th year of the curse.

But no need to be tired,

The club members are here.

And their club leader

Always has something up her sleeves.

"Gather 'round members!" Mion yelled. "Before Rika's performance, we shall have the greatest time at the festival"

"Not if I beat you first!" Keiichi shouted.

"Whatever, so what'll we have to do?" Satoko yawned.

"Oh I know! We should play the games with the cute prizes!" Rena chirped.

Something glistened in Mion's pocket, and Keiichi seems to notice it.

"Mion, what's that?" he asked.

"Oh this?" Mion pulled out a 2 pound hammer. "This is for fending against annoying dumbbells"

"You're not seriously going to hurt her…"

"'Course not. I'm just going to cause minimum damage until she leaves."

"HEY GUYS!" Yukion interrupted.

"HOLY SHIT FUCK#$*%!"

Mion jumped in shock from the surprise meet and let go of her hammer.

Fortunately, it didn't hit anyone.

Unfortunately, it smashed a nearby Takoyaki stand.

Right when the owner came back with fresh stock.

"MY OCTOPUS BALLS!"

The group: …

A minute passed.

"Oh Mi-chan, I didn't know you take carpentry lessons…" Yukion wondered.

"Yes, Yu-chan, I got good grades for** hammering** each of the **nails** into each of the **wood block**, being careful not to **splinter** the **core**," Mion said sarcastically while putting emphasis on the bolded words.

"Anyways Mi-chan, I'm going to go have a chat with our other sister," Yukion concluded as she left.

"Thank God that's finally over…" Keiichi sighed.

"What do you mean? Any day without that crazy shit is a great day," Satoko muttered.

"She glomped me outside of school yesterday, claimed that she was my old girlfriend, and forced me to make out with her."

"She WHAT!" Mion screamed.

"What did you do?" Rena asked worryingly.

"I beat her with Satoshi's bat, and then she shouted 'USODA' and stole that bat. Then I called her a psycho PMSing houseboy. She started laughing maniacally and chased me throughout the woods. Luckily the Invisibility Cape I borrowed from Harry Potter was with me at the time," he sighed.

"That little shit…" Mion growled.

"KIMIYOSHI! KIMIYOSHI!" a middle-aged man screamed while running to a random stand.

"Calm down, breathing like that's bad for your heart…" said the old man. "Now what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

The man whispered into Kimiyoshi's ear.

"What?" he gasped.

"Do you have any last words?" Yukion scowled.

"You little shit…" Shion said as she gritted her teeth. Her shoulder is dislocated from a smack of a chainsaw.

"Thanks to you, you made me look bad in front of Kei-chan…"

"Fuck off; he's Onee-san's"

"USODA!"

"That's Rena's line," Shion muttered. "How original can you be?"

Yukion sawed off Shion's severed arm.

Shion screamed in pain and gripped on to what's left.

"You fail at sawing, you know that right?" she managed to jeer.

It was dark now, so she couldn't really see.

But she did see her stump arm.

The skin was shredded near the end, lightly lacing the bone protruding out.

Blood was splattered everywhere.

"At least I make a better companion for Satoshi!" Yukion yelled.

Shion rolled her eyes and smirked.

"Oh please, he was probably blind when he met you."

"USODA!"

"Is that your face or did your neck throw up?" Shion snickered.

"SHUT UP!"

With a swing of the revolving blade and a splatter of blood, Shion was no more.

"No one talks about Satoshi or me like that…" Yukion scoffed.

She stared down on the body of her sister.

Her body was sliced in half; the insides spilling out, the skin is shredded, and her veins are spilling blood.

Blood trickled down the curve of her lips.

Yukion chuckled at first then turned to a large laugh.

"One down… just a few more to go…" she sighed.

* * *

God I feel terrible now… killing off Shion…

I like Shion and all, but it's just hard to right a fic with many characters.

Don't worry, Shion will be back soon, with promises.

Yukion… you're a disgusting pile of Mary Sue shit.


	5. The Search for Evidence

When the Mary-Sues Cry

It has been days since the Watanagashi.

News gone around that Sonozaki Shion has gone missing.

_That fucking ass…_ Mion thought, who suspected one person right away.

She crossed her legs and flipped a page of the newspaper.

_Damn these goddamned reporters… So annoying…_

_I have to turn Yuki-shit in to the police. Wait… if I'm going to turn her in, I need to find evidence… _

_If the corpse was discovered in the forest, there are most likely hints of evidence._

_**That's too complicated.**_

Mion's eye widened at the strange voice.

"_What the fu-"_

_**Hey bitch! This is a rated "T" fiction you dumbass!**_

"_Okay, okay! Chill bitch… Why is there two voices in my mind anyways?"_

_**Listen lettuce head, just kill the damn waste of ink.**_

"_But I don't have the guts to do that…"_

_**You're too scared to do anything, you call yourself a leader?**_

…

_**Exactly. Just grab a hammer, wait 'til the plagiarism shit is alone, then smash its head in.**_

"_Okay then. Wait… didn't I plan that for Justin Bieber?"_

_**No bitch. That's when you gouge his eye with a garden rake. **_

"_Oh…"_

_**What're you waiting for? Move your about-to-be-sorry-ass!**_

"Who the hell are you talking to Mion?"

Mion dashed out of the restroom, nearly colliding with her classmates.

She immediately ran for the woods, where the crime is likely committed.

"Mi-chan, where are you going?" Rena yelled after her. "You're shirt is tucked in your underwear!"

But Mion already headed to the forest…

"AND YOU DIDN'T WASH YO HANDS!"

There were barely any cops around.

And there isn't a corpse.

Maybe it's because they didn't get the location yet.

Or that they already took care of the body.

Thank goodness…

But wait, isn't that a bad thing then?

Meh, I don't know.

But there're still no cops or any private investigators.

Not even Detective Ooishi.

There were still bloodstains, but it's probably impossible to collect it with mosquitoes flying around.

Oddly, no body.

Mion scanned the entire area, looking for any trace of her phony twin.

"Hey look, a hair! Wait that's a piece of grass…"

She sighed in exhaustion until she saw something that stands out.

Mion walked over to it to get a better look.

_What the hell?_

She picked it up with a curious look.

And to her horror, it happens to be a Jonas Brothers limited edition CD.

Naturally, Mion screamed and dropped it.

She backed up against a tree, slowly gasping for air.

"HOLY CRAP! I did NOT see that coming… Considering the fact it's1983… am I not right?"

Before Mion stepped forward, she had to make sure she was still okay to move, taking deep breaths in a meditating pattern.

"Okay… moving on…"

Among the little objects on the ground, the one with most signs is a large rusty old chainsaw.

Mion took hold of its broken teeth to look for any traces of blood.

"Well, well. What do we have here?" someone said.

Mion spun around and saw Ooishi, lighting a cigarette.

"What do you want, Old Geezer?" she growled.

"Isn't it a bit odd to see someone, alone in the woods, holding parts of a chainsaw? It's not something you see everyday…"

"Fuck off, fat man. I have business to take care of, so why don't you move that dusty ass of yours back to the coffee shop," Mion said with an attitude.

"Well Sonozaki, you're already a suspect of Oyashiro's curse, so I couldn't let that slide easy," Ooishi let out a small puff of tobacco right into her face.

"Yuck. Ever heard of breast cancer?"

Ooishi was startled at this comment.

"Isn't that something YOU should be worried about?"

Mion glared at him.

"Touché…"

After a rather short interrogation, Ooishi decided he needed more sides of the story.

"I'll be back…"

_That bastard…_

_**Kill him, while his back is turned.**_

Mion nodded to herself, her snarl turned to a twisted grin.

With the shard in her hands, she lurks behind the man, weapon raised high…

* * *

Hoorah for cliffhangers!

Don't you love them?

Note: The italicized words shows Mion's thought, the italicized in quotations shows her thinking aloud, and the bolded shows Mion's demon thoughts.

Whoopie.

Sorry for slow updates, been busy with work and stuff.


	6. Public Display of Violence

When the Mary-Sues Cry

Mion plunged her grip down onto the man, preparing for the kill.

"MION!"

Mion turned around and saw Keiichi standing above her.

"There you are. Rena made me chase after you for taking off. That was careless you know." he grinned.

"Hey," Mion said calmly, hiding the weapon behind her back.

"Look, sorry about what happened to Shion. Um… I don't really know what to say in a situation like this."

"It's cool. It's that asswipe Yukion that's the problem," Mion clenched her fist. "Will you help me?"

"Help what?" he asked, confused.

"Kill her." Mion continued.

"I can't just go around smashing people's face in!" Keiichi panicked.

"YOU can't, but I could. Besides, I'm a Sonozaki, I could handle it."

"But isn't she also a Sonozaki?"

Mion punched him hard on the shoulders.

"No dumbass. Obviously she is an imposter. Probably a fangirl's work or something, I think. Either way, you have to help me get rid of her!" she pleaded.

"NO WAY. I don't want to go to prison for the rest of my life!"

Mion grabbed his collar and pinned him against a nearby tree. She whispered in his ear:

"DO IT OR I'LL MAKE YOU WATCH THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE!"

"OKAY OKAY I'LL HELP!" Keiichi gasped while trying to loosen her grip.

Mion finally released him with a dissatisfied look on her face.

"Good. Meet at Angel Mort later?" she asked.

"'Kay…"

* * *

Mion couldn't believe she was seated in a whorehouse restaurant, but it was the only other private place to talk.

She waited for a while until she saw Keiichi going through the entrance, who noticed her bright green hair.

"Thank god for your lettuce head, otherwise I'd be lost in a sea of sluts," Keiichi snickered.

Mion responded bluntly with the back of her hand.

"Ouch, no need to be violent…" he said, rubbing his face.

"This isn't time to be messing around. If we don't do anything about this, Yuki-shit will take over Hinamizawa, and you know how annoying that bastard is?"

"More annoying than teen popstars?"

"No shit."

Keiichi thought for a moment while fiddling with chopsticks on the table.

"Can't we just shoot a blow to her head? You know, to get over it?" he mumbled.

"No dumbass, if we get to it early, Ooishi's going to suspect us right from the start."

"Then how are we supposed to that?"

Mion stopped short at that comment.

She prodded a cupcake she ordered recently.

"Great, you don't even have a plan. You think you're ever going to pull this off and get away with this?" Keiichi rattled on.

"GET AWAY WITH WHAT, GUYS?"

Mion: HOLY FU-!

Yukion sat next to Keiichi without invitation.

"Holy what? There's no Saint in anything or anything…"

Mion: *facepalm*

"Yeah, I should go now…" Keiichi said and ran out immediately.

"Kei-chan, WAIT!" Mion cried.

Too late.

Mion: :O THAT BASTARD!

"Mi-chan, it's been a while since we last met," Yukion purred.

"It's been only a few hours…"

"Whatever. Besides, Obaasan is finally announcing who the new head of the family is, since all the triplets are gathered," she said as if it is good news.

"Oh joy. Look Yukion, it's mostly going to be me, alright? Since I am the oldest and the most responsible," Mion said sternly with cold eyes.

"No silly! It's actually me!"

Mion: *insert reaction face of choice*

"WHAT?" You can't be serious!" she shouted.

Everyone in the restaurant paused to look.

Mion felt everyone's stare and tried to calm herself down.

"W-why?" she managed to croak.

"I don't know why. She just decided I am more suited for the role," the triplet sighed.

Mion just sat there, trying to determine if the world is a dream or a reality.

_**Are you just going to sit there and take that?**_

_Oh God not you again…_

_**Geez, you really are a wimp. **_

_Shut up tumor. _

_**It's not called a tumor, it's called a conscience; dumbass.**_

_Harsh, if I'm going to do something about it, would you lay off the name calling?_

_**Fair enough.**_

As Mion turns back to reality, Yukion was still chatting away.

"-and even though Oba-san _insisted _on having me rip out three of my fingernails, Oka-san wanted to spare my precious soul and manage to convince her to reconsider me and-is something wrong with you?"

The big mouth had noticed the other started to twitch nervously.

Mion immediately grabbed the steak knife and lunged upon Yukion.

"SHUT… THE FUCK… UP!" she snarled.

She pressed the blade against Yukion's neck while pinning her down with her other arm.

"Mi-chan… what are you doing? It hurts!" she whimpered.

Yukion noticed that Mion is not being herself.

Her stone cold eyes glared down on her.

"You do not belong here. Why don't you tie yourself to a pole above a barbeque pit and DIE!" Mion shouted.

Yukion's neck started to bleed as Mion pushed harder.

"You're hurting me…" Yukion whined.

"You're damn right I am; now I'm going to send you back where you belong!"

"SOMEBODY CALL 911!"

Mion's head jerk to the right to see customers in a frantic.

She finally realized what she had just done.

She loosened her grip on Yukion, her blood spilling out.

_Holy crap, what did I just do?_

Mion could already hear sirens from far away.

Without thinking, she ran out through the backdoor as fast as she could.


End file.
